The Terror from the Microwave
To anybody in search of a quick snack or who just love the taste of melted gooey food in a pastry wrap, stay clear of any product from Chef America containing the ill fated Hot Pocket logo. Hot Pockets have been the source of nutrients for many students and adults who have absolutely no time to make a sandwich or wait in line for a burger. It's been dubbed easy, simple, quick and tasty.
But the part that people are unaware of is that Hot Pockets are dangerous. Recently on Friday, August 6, 1999, an innocent seventeen year old boy was attacked by this predator. He wasn't even all that hungry, his mother insisted that he eat something lest he collapse. As the boy was half way finished with his ham & cheese Hot Pocket, a lone piece of steaming hot ham covered in melted, scalding cheese oozed it's way out of the pocket. It quickly went straight for the attack and set on to the boy's lower lip refusing to release it's burning grip. Finally, it fell off but not without injury. On the boy's lip, was a half inch long second degree burn with a blister forming.
Now half a week later, because of the serious incident that happened to this boy, I have decided to stay away from ham & cheese Hot Pockets. They are dangerous and a menace to our fragile society. There is enough problems in our world today, is nothing sacred anymore? We can't even go to eat lunch anymore without feeling like we're in danger. Well, I've said enough for today, I think I'm going to put some more aloe on my lip and ice it down again...
CCC Editor & Assault Victim
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